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THEY’RE BACK, AND THEY’RE BETTER THAN EVER! Saturday, October 15, 2005 My goodness, I received an email recently from a long retired pimp from many years ago. The one and only CandyMan sends his regards to all the pimps who continue with the daily struggle of finding some ho’s to slap around. Candy of course, being one of the founding fathers of the warez scene, left before many of the new pimps around here were even born, and so he commands respect from us all. Sunday, January 9, 2005 Well, a lot of the PiMPS have gone to jail because the FBI and CIA hax0red them through the anus. The rest have gone into deep hiding to avoid being caught and deported to Sri Lanka. The only real update is that Syren’s profile has been modified to reflect his illegal carding activities. Thursday, December 11, 2003 My favorite IRC brotha, none other than Vize is now an AOL-PiMP. I’ve known this guy ever since his boat landed on the shores of America, and he is a real pimp. He’s been bitch slappin ho’s and sluts silly since he was a lil kid, so it’s only natural that his backhand talents be featured online as well. Friday, August 29, 2003 A very deserving old school hax0r, zuke, has joined the ranks here at AOL PiMPS. He’s been around the scene owning lamers and taking over channels for years now, so it’s only fitting that he should get his props, as they are long overdue! Thursday, August 21, 2003 Ok, I finally gave in. After two and a half years of continual harassment (see PiMP news from March 10, 2001 below), I have decided that the time has come for syren to become an AOL PiMP. I guess that this really does go to show how persistence and annoyance can pay off. [21:21] <syren> omg, how are you gonna have them people on the site and not me [21:29] <RajuAbju_> ahah, yea yea, your plight to become a pimp. ok i give in. Sunday, August 17, 2003 I barely ever work weekends… well, that’s not true actually, but whatever. The man who created scenenews, the brains behind the operation, the guy who had the vision, the insight, and most of all the guts, none other than reidar himself, has been inducted into A0L-PiMPS today, congratulations my friend! Wednesday, July 30, 2003 Very rare indeed is it for me to update a PiMP profile, once it has been created and approved. But today, such a thing has indeed occurred. I last reported on PiMP Nuggz many moons ago, when he was just a young lad. Well, now he is all grown up, and still ownin’ pussies left and right… If you know what I mean. Wednesday, July 23, 2003 Ok, unfortunately, this is not a joke. Our dear friend, Cable, a true pimp of AOL, and long time member of the scene, passed away recently. Visit his memorial site at: www.craigmay.com Friday, June 6, 2003 This one has been a long time coming. Dynamic is someone everyone knows, and pretty much no one likes. Although he is rather modest, and was at first hesitant to accept such a prestigious award as becoming an AOL PiMP, I felt he is truly deserving. I think he is just too damn ereet for us common folk, and this is probably true. Dynamic is definitely one of a kind, and that’s probably a good thing. Monday, April 28, 2003 One of the all time greats, the one, the only, trex, has become an AOL-PiMP today. He didn’t ask for this special award, and, probably didn’t want it, and maybe he wont even accept it, but too fucking bad. Congratulations hax0r! Friday, February 28, 2003 Very exciting news folks, very exciting news. Kasino, Rage, Reflux have all been added to the pimp wall of shame. Show them your support, they need it. I have plans to add even MORE pimps in March. But for now, this is all you fucking get. Congrats to rage for getting the recognition he deserves after almost exactly 2 years of continual harassment to join AOL PiMPS (see PiMP news from March 19, 2001, below). Friday, February 21, 2003 Yes, just when you were beginning to think there were no more pimps on AOL, I have found one anew. Buci, better known and juicy buci, has joined the club of immortals. Let’s all congratulate him for all the useless accomplishments he had achieved throughout the years to finally be recognized as a worthy PiMP on this page of nothingness. Tuesday, August 6, 2002 Today, someone TRULY deserving to be pimporized has finally gotten the recognition he deserves. I am very proud to announce that APP, perhaps among the most annoying people ever to exist on the aol scene, has gotten his star on the aol walk of shame. Congratulations bro, and its good to see you are back once again amongst your people. Thursday, July 18, 2002 After some relative unpimpiness, I have returned to work on these bloody bastards today. We have a new, secret agent pimp…Trystar! Welcome to the land of immortals, where the pimps run free and naked. Friday, April 19, 2002 OMG, I’m on a fucking roll here…. I added another two pimps this evening, welcome ob1 and nuggz to our hall of shame. In unrelated news, I would like to say hello to my truly elite hax0r buddy BUSta! Damn bro, I haven’t talked to you in like 3 years, I’m glad you found this webpage, and decided to email me… 🙂 Sunday, April 14, 2002 Due to the unending clamoring about new pimps, I have added three more deserving losers to the list of immortal hax0rs of the world. Yay for holly, our first female pimptress, sqwert, the whiny little cocksucker pimp, and FGCUSabre, the uhmmm 3rd pimp I added. Thursday, March 21, 2002 Oh my god. Something I thought would never happen. NEW PIMPS have actually been added to this site. People have been BEGGING me for some sort of update, any update at all… I simply cannot ignore the demand to congratulate individual persons of no accomplishment by pimporizing them here for all eternity. New pimps for now are Jist, Chip, and esco. I may even be adding more later!!! Saturday, December 8, 2001 I know everyone was scared for a few weeks, that the PiMPS, along with the rest of my site were gone forever, but do not fear! The PiMPS are back online! Wednesday, June 30, 2001 I’m such a nice guy. I even alphabetized the PiMPs list for everyone’s convenience! Wednesday, May 16, 2001 Well, after I quit working on SceneNews.com because Outlawsys was a control freak and didn’t allow me to “express” myself the way I wished, I removed all the work I had done on the page, including A0L-PiMPs. I waited for the new webmaster to recreate this, or something similar, but I guess it’s not going to be done, and when I tried to inquire whether or not there were any future plans to bring back A0L-PiMPs, I got no response. Since I think its hilarious, and I spent all this time working on it, and chaos has originally given ME permission to create the second installment of A0L-PiMPs, I’ve decided to put the PiMPs up on my own page, for public display and humiliation. I have no immediate plans to create new PiMPs, as I no longer spend much time on IRC; however, if there are individuals who wish to PiMPoRiZe people they see worthy of such title, I am fully open to letting others do so, and I will gladly plaster the PiMPs up on this site! Thursday, March 29, 2001 Here’s an email I received from cowboy aka John, the famous creator of Raju’s Sheep. Obviously, I have no choice but to oblige, and PiMPORiZE cowboy in the very near future. Raju, I am surprised you have not made me an aol pimp yet considering what i made about your sheep fetish. As you can see i am at work now. I just moved so i have been very bored which allowed me time to work on rajussheep 2: raju strikes back. It is done except for the little preview i want to make cause i want to make people wait and build up excitement for this sequel to rajussheep. As soon as that is done i will start work on Rajussheep 3:Return of the Raju. Also how is your wife? You know your blow up doll sheep? The wedding photo you donated to Rajussheep 2 was very kind >:-) John Dempsey Monday, March 19, 2001 People CONTINUE to beg and msg and IM and plead with me to add them to AOL-PiMPS, as if it’s some sort of lifetime achievement hall of shame, er fame. It’s one thing for a homosexual such as syren to be begging me (see below) but now, random hoe’s such as rage, who aren’t even worth my time to talk to want to be PiMPS? I think not. Anyhow, I DO plan to add WORTHY new PiMPS within the next week or two, so come back often. [13:06] <rage`> damnit raju [13:07] <rage`> im gonna send foot and mouth disease to your flock of sheep [13:16] <RajuAbju> rage, you will never be an aol pimp, you are worthless [13:17] * rage` curses rajus sheep with food and moith disease! Thursday, March 15, 2001 I think fiero aka brian is pissed about his pimp profile. I received this fascinating email from him earlier today: “I just have a quick question here Mr. AOL’r. On your site, you have a copyright statement that I am going to quote here; “This Page Last Updated: 03.13.01 . 1996-2001 Scene News. All Rights Reserved” Um, buddy. Scenenews wasn’t around in 1996. What crack are you smoking? If I am not mistaken, it wasn’t formed untill late 1998 by bryan, and was scenenews.net at that. Sad how you make fun of people, but are lame yourself in trying to make it out like you’ve been around for quite some time. I don’t even remember your lame ass in 1996, that’s even worse. Anyway, I think your page of me on scenenews.com is kinda funny. I love how you say how we all have pitiful meaningless lives, yet, you’re a stupid teenager, who sits in front of his computer alllll fucking day, and lives and dies by AOL warez. I think you need to stop and look in the mirror buddy. The thing is, I know what’s going through your head at this moment too, “You’re on IRC all the time too, brian” Which, is correct Mr AOL’r. My screen may be connected 95% of the time, but I think I may spend about 1-2 days total, as I have a job, a girlfriend, and a life outside of computers as well. So don’t even try to rebuttle with me, “you’re on your computer 24/7/365″, because that’s incoherantly false information. Anyway, you guys are pretty pathetic. I can only suggest growing up, but you may find that hard. Take care you poor little teenagers! =)” Ok, so he was right about the 1996-2001 thing, I fixed that. Thanks for taking the time and pointing that out brian! Saturday, March 10, 2001 New PiMPS have been added! Pimps from #macros, and the deadly MOBsters! As well as an all time favorite, viowatch! Enjoy. Oh yea, I previously had reported that both coz and deep were dead or missing in action or something; I would to correct that…coz is alive and well, only deep is a gayass lazy bum whore. Look at some of the pathetic groveling people msg me with, in their lame attempts to convince me that they too, deserve to be PiMP0RiZED… I’ve gotten dozens of msgs like this in the past few days. You all really have no lives. Seriously. <syren_> i wanna be an aol pimp!! <syren_> i deserve to be up there instead of some of them <RajuAbju> it cant be stupid <syren_> i think you just dont like me <RajuAbju> thats goin on aol pimps too Thursday, March 1, 2001 Well, the first set of new PLATINUM PiMPS have been added! Our deepest condolences go out to all of them. It took many hard days of hax0ring a0l to gain the skillz and knowledge that these special people have obtained. Because it seem’s both coz and deep have either been deported to Mexico, or joined storm in hiding from the FBI, I now am looking for new people with no lives to help seek out and identify new PiMPS, and to tell the rest of the world about their worthless lives. If you are such a person, please find me somehow and offer me your body & money, err help and time. Oh yea, and although many of you are these worthless and lifeless people, no, you cannot PiMP0RiZE yourself. So stop asking if you can submit a PiMP profile of your own pathetic self.
<RajuAbju> you don’t think chaos will mind my hax0rizing that pic do u? <deep> you have to mention his Jewish roommate glen <RajuAbju> cool
Wednesday, February 21, 2001
The notorious and infamous hax0rizer ^chaos^ was found dead last week by the US Coast Guard, a few miles off the coast of Florida. Chaos was apparently traveling to Cuba to be reunited with his secret lover Elian Gonzalez, and his long time “personal friend”, Fidel, after breaking up with his Jewish roommate, Glen. Glen broke his ankle after falling off his bike while fleeing from a stampeding herd of wild flamingo’s and was no longer able to put out, so chaos took it upon himself to end the relationship. According to the Coast Guard, chaos was eaten by a school of barracudas after elite ninjas cut holes in the rubber ducky he was riding to Cuba. The new AoL Pimps Platinum Edition is dedicated to the memory of the notorious AOL HaX0r chaos. On a related note, a FBI Public Relations official released a statement saying they were pleased to be informed of this incident as now AOL is a much safer placer without the presence of chaos lurking about in the “Male4Male” and “GayTeenLove” chat rooms. Well, our poor, beloved chaos, of AOL-PiMPS fame, such a horrid fate fell upon him indeed. However, we shall NOT let his legend of the AOL-PIMPS die! NO! We shall continue the struggle in identifying new PIMPS around the scene. We shall continue the legacy of the man, once known as chaos, a true AOL PIMP, and many thanks go to deep and coz, for helping me out! |
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